The Way of Council is an enlightened communication style that fosters respect, intimacy, compassion, truth sharing and trust. It can be used for many purposes from building team spirit, creating cohesion and connection in working relationships, to problem solve and planning. The Council process can be used at home, with adults as well as children, to enhance couple and family dynamics. It can be used as a tool for use with clients, to deepen understanding and enhance communication. Council is suitable for any size group of two or more.
History: The Council concepts are distilled from a wide range of cultural traditions including Native American, Islamic, Greek and Quaker. They are also built on many contemporary techniques of group dynamics. The following comes from The Ojai Foundation, which began teaching this form of Council process more than twenty years ago. Their retreats and leadership training programs have brought Council into intimate relationships as well as into schools, and into the business and corporate communities. Currently, there are trained facilitators teaching Council internationally as a tool for creating peace and reconciliation.
Four Intentions of Council:
Speak from the heart – Be in the moment. Speak what is true for you, from your heart. Stay in touch as deeply as possible with your feelings. Be open to what wants to emerge. Let go of ego, agendas, and old ways of perceiving.
Listen from the heart – Allow yourself to deeply receive what the speaker is sharing. Hear with sacred ears; let the words enter your heart. Serve as a compassionate witness. Quakers called this “devout listening.” It frees the listener to receive without having to actively think, interpret, or “fix” the person speaking. It empowers the speaker to share feelings or to say difficult things without fear or judgment.
Be lean of expression – Say what you need to say. Use the discipline of brevity. Give a “Reader’s Digest” version if possible. It is also acceptable to use silence, a single word, or movement as expression. Sometimes being lean means considering if what you are about to share serves – you, the group, etc…
Be spontaneous – Stay in the moment. Avoid rehearsing what you are going to say. Trust that what you want and need to say will come out exactly the way it is supposed to. This allows you to listen fully and to be present with each speaker. It also allows you to be moved by what other speakers are sharing, which can bring deeper insight into your own processes.
Note: Honor each other with a promise of confidentiality. All circle members must feel safe to speak from their hearts without worrying that they will the subject of gossip. This is essential to the trust required for successful Council.
